Rely on Grace

Okay this is going to have to be a really fast email but a summery of this week is that I had to rely a lot on the Savior's grace to make up everything I lacked.

 Basically I got called to be a new leader like a week ago, then I went to a training with the other leaders and the mission president, and then I was expected to turn around and train the other missionaries. I already get stage fright so I was terrified out of my mind!! I seriously in the planning session for the zone training and I realized I had no idea what I was doing! And then the time came around to fast and I just about froze up and died when it was my turn to speak. I kept giving my companion silent SOS signs with my eyes and she got the hint and jumped in and helped. I kept feeling so inadequate and so helpless because I seriously had no idea how to train a bunch of missionaries let alone be a leader. My heart and mind were just being overwhelmed by this feeling of desperation and sinking when all of the sudden a peace fell over me and a thought came to my head, "You may not have this but I do, trust me." And all the fear left. It came around again for my turn to speak and I found that my mouth was filled. My heart was so full it felt like it was going to burst. I love the power of the atonement and how it makes up for everything that I lacked. It was kind of amazing that the spirit wasn't pulling random words and putting it in my mouth to say but rather he was pulling from different experiences I had had and ideas. He was basically enhancing me. I found that to be such a tender mercy. The lord is really aware of us and our needs and in his infinite mercy, he reaches out his hand and guides us along.

 Everything that has happened this week has really taught me a lesson is one way or another. For example, we were knocking doors and we accidentally knocked the door of another religions missionaries...or maybe it wasn't an accident. For missionaries, these type of missionaries can be really tough because they know their bible inside and out (something I really admire about them) but they also like to use it a lot to bible bash. Most missionaries usually walk away discouraged but I am grateful for every encounter we have with these missionaries because every time they strengthen my testimony. This particular encounter, she was trying to argue with us about the perfect government and she pulled out Daniel 2:44 which talks about god will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed. I nearly laughed out loud because we know through modern day revelation that that scripture is about the true church of Christ! The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! I just love that the scripture that she was trying to use to prove us wrong, was actually proving us right. It prophesied of a church that would be built up and that would never be destroyed and that it would go out to all the world...well it was kind of standing in front of her. Living proof of that prophesy! We are missionaries for that church that is God's Kingdom on earth that will never be destroyed, and we are spreading it to all of the world. So she was basically trying to destroy the church that God himself had said that would never be destroyed. Kind of ironic right? Man I love modern day revelation and even though we did not even get a word in, I am so grateful for that experience. I had been looking for an experience that would help me build my faith and that did just the trick.

 We also had many lessons this week were the spirit was really working with us. There was was one lesson in particular that really built my faith. It was with this lady named Juana and she is someone who had not been keeping her appointments or her commitments. We were kind of at this point that we felt like it would be better to just release her so we went into this lesson with that mentality. Kind of funny how this lesson went from being a release lesson to a spirit filled lesson about the Holy Ghost. Somehow we got talking about the spiritual experiences that she and her husband had had in their lives. For example, her first communion...she had felt something warm fill her, and for him, every time he prays he says that he feels an overwhelming peace. We were able to witness to them that this was the Holy Spirit that witness of truth and that if they truly searched out this message, they would feel his influence again in their lives. So we recommited them to read the Book of Mormon and then to ask Heavenly Father if this message was true. They said they would so I really hope that they do.

 I am so grateful for this church and for living day prophets. I am so grateful for the Book of Mormon and the convincing power it contains! There is seriously nothing more beautiful then this gospel! This is truly the true church of god and it is our right and our privilege to make it know to the world.

 I love you all,

Hermana Paredes

 P.S. We biked 18 miles this past Saturday...I am so saddle sore!!